


Subjunctive

by MCorin



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: I have no idea where this is going, Peter Parker is not an idiot, Secret Identity, Texting, Will update tags when I decide what the heck is going on, wrong number fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27232981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCorin/pseuds/MCorin
Summary: Cliche wrong number fic - Peter accidentally texts Tony Stark - except more realistic (aka Peter being smart and not blindly trusting strangers on the internet after two conversations)
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 31
Kudos: 144





	1. First non-meetings

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. So. This was...quite impulsive. I wrote the entire first chapter in like 10 minutes. I may or may not continue to update. This may or may not be complete trash. I may or may not be sitting on the toilet right now. Read at your own risk.

**Unknown number**

ned

my dude

why did I have to hack through a gazillion firewalls and convince a lady named Friday that I have good intentions to text your new number

that’s quite suspicious good sir

also help me what is subjunctive mood

**Ned**

I’m sorry, what?

Who are you?

**Unknown number**

I’m Peter

obviously

who else would be texting you?

no offense, but you have about as few friends as I do

I mean, I could be one of our classmates looking to mooch off your homework

moochers

**Ned**

First of all, that’s depressing, kid.

Second of all, you’ve got the wrong number.

Third, how the hell did you manage to hack through the firewalls to text this number and convince FRIDAY you’re allowed to text me?

**Unknown number**

crap

sorry mystery person

idk I just kinda did it

and Friday was kind of confrontational at first but then I told her some of my non-political beliefs at her request and she let me through

**Not-Ned**

Damn.

Wait, what do you mean, non-political views?

**Unknown number**

views that people consider political but that really aren’t

like women’s rights and gay marriage and blm and poor people having basic human rights

**Not-Ned**

I like you already, kid.

Also, subjunctive mood describes possibilities and desirabilities, like “I prefer that you not enter my room without my permission.”

**Unknown number**

ohhhhhhhhhh

I couldn’t remember so I was trying to just translate subjunctive from spanish but that wasn’t working

**Not-Ned**

Is Spanish your first language?

**Unknown number**

no

I just know the names of more grammar concepts in spanish than in english

now, not to be rude, but I probably shouldn’t be texting a random guy on the internet

or girl

or other flavor of person

no need to assume

**Not-Ned**

I am indeed a guy, and it’s generally a good rule not to text internet strangers, especially as a minor.

**Unknown number**

who says I’m a minor?

**Not-Ned**

The fact that you’re still in school.

**Unknown number**

I could be in college!

or graduate school!

or maybe I’m actually middle-aged but I dropped out of high school at 16 and I’m just now getting my GED!

**Not-Ned**

Are you middle-aged and just now getting your GED?

**Unknown number**

no

**Not-Ned**

Goodbye, kid.


	2. Wrong number (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter accidentally texts Tony again (and still, neither of them knows who the other is)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: In this story, the “I’m watching porn” thing happened when Ned was helping Peter with a smaller, lower-stakes mission of some kind. I just needed to use that to push the plot along a bit, but THE VULTURE MISSION HAS NOT HAPPENED YET. And obviously, Ned already knows Peter is spider-man, even though he doesn't have a 'stark internship' yet.
> 
> Also, this is a first draft. I did not edit it at all, nor did I proofread it. Don't get your hopes up.

Tony put down his phone and looked at it bemusedly. Who was this kid, and how did they manage to text Tony’s personal number? He had made it so that only the people in his contacts could text him, and this kid had managed to hack through one of the top security systems in the world, just for some homework help from their friend. From their short conversation, Tony could see why FRIDAY had liked the kid, but what had they said to make FRIDAY trust them? For all Tony knew, this could be a trap, maybe a villain of some sort, or an obsessed fan who had spent however much time it took to get past the firewalls just to have a conversation with him. However, FRIDAY trusted the kid, and Tony trusted FRIDAY, so he wasn’t too worried.

The one thing that was a bit suspicious is that the kid’s number didn’t show up above his chats - clearly, someone had worked very hard to keep the kid anonymous - probably the kid, if they were able to get past Tony’s security systems. But why would a school-aged kid not want anyone to know his phone number?

“FRI?” Tony called. “Could you try to trace the number that just texted me, please? Find out as much information as you can about whoever it is.”

“Absolutely, boss,” FRIDAY said. Tony sighed and poured himself another cup of coffee while he waited for FRIDAY to complete her search. Tony knew that if he wanted his Iron Man suits to be improved much more, he needed to figure out how to make one at least partially out of nanotech, and he was making some progress, but not nearly as quickly as he had hoped.

As Tony sipped his coffee, he frowned. No matter how good of a hacker this kid is, FRIDAY should have been able to figure out his number and trace it by now. “FRI, baby? What’s the holdup?” he said.

“I’m very sorry, boss,” she responded. “I’m afraid I am unequipped for this task. I cannot get around the code the owner of the phone put in place, no matter what I do.”

Now Tony was even more suspicious. FRIDAY was the most advanced AI in the entire world, and she should have been able to circumvent whatever protections this kid had in place, especially since they’re supposed to be just that - a kid. A computer science prodigy thinking his friend is playing a prank on him and somehow managing to get past Tony Stark’s security system? That’s one thing. But having a security system that even Tony Stark cannot get past? Tony is starting to think there’s something else at play here. Because it’s very likely there’s a teenage kid out there who’s smarter than Tony, but Tony can’t think of any reason a teenager would put so much effort into protecting their identity.

No matter. Whoever it was didn’t seem to be doing anything particularly malicious for now, and Tony didn’t have the energy to think about the mysterious unknown number anymore.

<*\/*>

**Unknown number**

Will you be at robotics practice today? If not, you could come over this weekend so we could work on our project.

**Not-Ned**

Still not Ned, kid.

**Unknown number**

oh crap

sorry

**Not-Ned**

You should probably put me as something other than Ned in your contacts.

Or you could just delete my number altogether.

**Unknown number**

I would delete your number, but I like to have a record of everyone I text, even wrong numbers, so I know not to accidentally text them again

also, you’re actually in my contacts as Not-Ned

**Not-Ned**

Clearly your system isn’t working, because you just texted me again.

**Unknown number**

hey!

this doesn’t normally happen. I was trying to text a kid named nahmed, not ned, and the last time I texted nahmed is around the same time that I accidentally texted you

**Not-Ned**

I see.

Not-Ned is still pretty similar to just Ned at first glance, so maybe you should still change it to something more distinctive.

**Unknown number**

actually, ned’s in my contacts as🖥👌👈💯 _[see notes if the emojis don’t show up properly]_

**Not-Ned**

I feel like there’s a story behind that.

**Unknown number**

there is

**Not-Ned**

Please share, I’m dying of curiosity.

(No super personal details, though, obviously)

**Unknown number**

right

well, my friend was helping me with something confidential on the computer at school, but he got caught

but he went all in, and rather than saying what he was doing, he told the teacher he was watching porn

**Not-Ned**

I respect that.

**Unknown number**

as do I

**Not-Ned**

Was it worth it?

**Unknown number**

absolutely

I think

idk I’m not the one known as porn-boy in the teacher’s lounge now

**Not-Ned**

Fair enough.

Bye kid.

**Unknown number**

bye not-ned!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case the emojis don’t show up properly, it’s a desktop computer, an okay sign and then a pointer finger (making the sign language for sex) and then a red 100.


End file.
